Old video games; Great character names

Something that I find lacking in more recent video games is the quality of names for their characters.  Also, the villains don’t say “Barf” when you beat them over  the head with a trash can or apply a roundhouse kick to their face.

I recently went back and played some of my old favorites and recalled how amusing it was to face off against Biff, Scab Boy, Lucky Luc, Slag… or to play as Blaze, Haggar, Skate, Guy, Axel, or Radd Spencer.  Yes, the quality of the games has gone up , but the novelty of the names has gone down.

Who can forget the lambastings you would get after wrecking your bike in Road Rash?

But the best names, in my opinion, came from the multitude of brawlers on the 8 & 16-bit systems: Final Fight, Streets of Rage, Double Dragon, River City Ransom…

I think that the best way to ensure that your game will have great names, however, is to make sure that you include LOTS of street punks.  Everybody knows that criminal masterminds employ hordes of street punks to keep their rackets and stuff in line.  Haven’t you ever watched Robocop?

Watch this video for a taste of street punk beat down and ridiculous enemy names.

You can pretty much be guaranteed that any self-respecting brawler that came out of the 80s would include a character or villain named: Blade (or a variation, like “Blaze”), Axel, Guy, Biff, Zack, or Ice.

My question to you, then, is this:

Which is your favorite generic old-school video game name?  If you have a better one, feel free to add it in!

Radd Spencer is my hero

So… Bionic Commando was one of my favorite video games growing up.  I mean, it has everything a classic platformer should have: guns, slow moving bullets, simple AI, and zero repurcussions from falling 30 stories.  Well, everything… except for A JUMP BUTTON!  But have no fear!  Radd Spencer has no need of a jump button with his bionic arm.  You can swing from ledge to ledge, grab items & energy, and even grab your enemies!

Oh, and did I mention NAZIS!?

Yes, in the original Japanese version of the game, the enemies you were fighting were Nazis and you had to fight a revived Hitler at the end.  They took all of that out in the US version, unfortunately.  I mean, come on!  Who doesn’t like killing Nazis?!  They’re like the perfect enemy!  Just ask this guy:

Actually, when you think about it, Bionic Commando is very similar to Indiana Jones in a number of ways (except it doesn’t tarnish its name by putting out something as absolutely terrible as Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull).  Blech…

Speaking of subsequent releases…

The whole reason I’m making this post is to highlight the remakes of this classic video game.

First of all, here’s a look at the classic version that we all know and love:

Oh yes, that’s my childhood right there.

Now, in August 2008, the game was re-released with amped up graphics and some really cool additions.  Watch how the game transforms:

Pure awesome.

Anyways, Capcom has been in the process of coming out with a fully 3-D version of the game similar to a lot of the modern brawlers out there.  Don’t mind the cheesy voice-over,  but check out some of the awesome gameplay:

I haven’t had a gaming system of any kind since I came to Singapore, and I don’t intend on buying one.  I know how addicted I can get and how much time I will end up spending playing.  That and I don’t really feel like getting dumped by my girlfriend in the near future…  but man oh man does that game look like fun.

Actually, I think I might have to think of way to make Radd into a halloween costume next year…